What Is Trauma? Signs You May Be Affected
Trauma can affect the way you think, feel, behave and relate to other people - sometimes long after the event itself has passed. You may know exactly what has affected you, or you may simply feel that something has changed and you are struggling to understand why.
You might find yourself thinking, “Why am I still affected by this?”, “I should be over it by now,” or “I need help, but I don't know where to start.”
Trauma can happen after a single frightening or distressing event, but it can also develop from ongoing experiences such as abuse, neglect, bullying, family violence, discrimination or living through repeated stressful situations.
If trauma is affecting your everyday life, relationships, sleep, confidence or sense of safety, counselling can provide a supportive space to work through what has happened and begin moving forward.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is the emotional and psychological response to an experience that feels overwhelming, threatening or unsafe.
It can happen following experiences such as:
A serious accident or injury
Physical, emotional or sexual abuse
Family or relationship violence
The sudden death of someone you love
A serious illness
Bullying or harassment
A frightening event or natural disaster
Childhood neglect or difficult family experiences
Pregnancy, birth or medical trauma
Experiences of war, displacement or migration
Racism, discrimination or other experiences that affect your sense of safety and belonging
Importantly, there is no single type of experience that causes trauma, and people can respond to the same event very differently.
You don't have to have been diagnosed with PTSD to be affected by trauma. Sometimes the effects are subtle or develop gradually, particularly when the original experience happened a long time ago.
What Does Trauma Feel Like?
Trauma can affect both your mind and body. You may notice changes in your emotions, thoughts, behaviour, relationships or physical wellbeing.
Emotional signs of trauma
You might experience:
Anxiety, fear or feeling constantly on edge
Irritability or anger
Sadness or low mood
Guilt or shame
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
Feeling overwhelmed by everyday situations
Difficulty feeling safe around other people
A sense that something bad is going to happen
You may also experience emotions that seem confusing or disproportionate to what is happening around you.
For example, a situation that seems relatively minor to someone else might trigger a very strong emotional response for you.
Changes in thoughts and concentration
Trauma can affect the way you think and process information. You may notice:
Difficulty concentrating
Forgetfulness
Racing thoughts
Negative thoughts about yourself or others
Feeling hopeless about the future
Blaming yourself for what happened
Difficulty making decisions
Repeatedly thinking about the event
Some people also experience intrusive memories or feel as though they are reliving parts of what happened.
Changes in your body and behaviour
Trauma isn't only something that happens in your thoughts. Your nervous system can also respond to experiences of danger or threat.
You may:
Have difficulty sleeping or experience nightmares
Feel constantly alert or watchful
Be easily startled
Avoid certain people, places or situations
Become more withdrawn
Find it difficult to relax
Experience changes in appetite
Use alcohol or other substances to cope
Feel uncomfortable being touched or physically close to others
These responses can be your body's attempt to protect you after experiencing something that felt unsafe.
Trauma and Relationships
Trauma can also affect relationships.
You may find it difficult to trust people, communicate your needs or feel emotionally close to someone. Some people become more withdrawn, while others may become particularly sensitive to rejection, conflict or changes in their relationships.
If your trauma involved another person, particularly someone you trusted, rebuilding a sense of safety and trust can take time.
You may also find that trauma affects intimacy, sexuality or your ability to feel comfortable being vulnerable with a partner.
Counselling can provide a safe place to explore these patterns without judgement.
Can Trauma Happen in Childhood?
Yes. Experiences during childhood can have lasting effects, particularly when they involve ongoing stress, neglect, abuse or feeling unsafe.
Sometimes people don't recognise the impact of childhood experiences until they are adults. Difficulties with relationships, self-esteem, anxiety or emotional regulation may become more noticeable later in life.
This doesn't mean that something is "wrong" with you. It can mean that experiences from earlier in life are still influencing how you respond to situations today.
Trauma in Aotearoa New Zealand
Trauma needs to be understood within a person's individual, family and cultural context.
For Māori, wellbeing can be understood in relation to whānau, whenua, wairua, tinana and hinengaro, rather than focusing only on an individual's psychological symptoms. A culturally responsive approach to counselling recognises the importance of identity, whakapapa, relationships, community and connection.
Other people in Aotearoa may also have experiences shaped by migration, displacement, racism, cultural expectations or intergenerational experiences of trauma.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to trauma. A good counsellor should take the time to understand your experiences, values and what wellbeing means to you.
When Should You Seek Help for Trauma?
You don't need to wait until things become overwhelming before reaching out for support.
It may be worth speaking with a counsellor if:
Your experiences are affecting your relationships
You are struggling with anxiety or fear
You regularly feel on edge or unsafe
You are avoiding things you used to enjoy
You are experiencing nightmares or intrusive memories
You are struggling to sleep
You feel disconnected or emotionally numb
You are finding it difficult to manage everyday life
You are using alcohol or other substances to cope
You feel that something from your past is continuing to affect you
You don't need to know exactly what is wrong before making an appointment.
If you're searching online for "I need help with anxiety", "trauma counselling NZ", "therapy for trauma NZ" or "counsellor near me NZ", reaching out can be a useful first step.
How Can Counselling Help With Trauma?
Trauma counselling isn't about forcing you to talk about everything that happened before you're ready.
A counsellor can work with you to understand how your experiences may be affecting you now and develop strategies that help you feel safer, more grounded and more in control.
Depending on your needs, counselling may help you:
Understand your emotional and physical responses
Recognise triggers
Develop strategies for managing anxiety and distress
Improve emotional regulation
Build self-compassion
Improve relationships and communication
Work through difficult memories at a manageable pace
Rebuild your sense of safety and trust
Develop healthier ways of coping
Different therapeutic approaches may be used depending on your circumstances. These can include trauma-informed counselling, cognitive behavioural approaches, acceptance and commitment therapy, narrative approaches and other evidence-based therapies.
The most important thing is that the approach is appropriate for you and your individual needs.
What Does Trauma Counselling Involve?
Your first counselling session is usually an opportunity to talk about what has been happening and what you would like support with.
You don't have to tell your counsellor every detail of a traumatic experience straight away.
Your counsellor may ask about:
What has brought you to counselling
How you have been feeling
How things are affecting your everyday life
Your relationships and support network
What you would like to change
What you hope to get from counselling
Together, you can decide what you feel comfortable working on.
Trauma counselling should happen at a pace that feels manageable. You remain involved in decisions about your care, and you can let your counsellor know if something feels too difficult or overwhelming.
Can ACC Help With Trauma Counselling in New Zealand?
In some circumstances, ACC may contribute to or fully fund counselling and therapy following certain injuries or traumatic experiences.
For example, ACC provides support for some mental injuries resulting from covered physical injuries, traumatic events at work and certain criminal acts.
ACC's Sensitive Claims Service provides support, assessment and treatment for people who have experienced sexual abuse or assault that meets the relevant eligibility requirements.
Eligibility and funding depend on individual circumstances, so it's important to discuss this with your counsellor or ACC rather than assuming you will or won't qualify.
ACC also provides information about finding counselling support following a physical injury.
You Don't Have to Work Through Trauma Alone
Experiencing trauma can change the way you see yourself, other people and the world around you. But struggling after a traumatic experience doesn't mean you're weak, and you don't have to simply "get over it."
With the right support, it is possible to develop new ways of coping, understand your responses and regain a stronger sense of safety and wellbeing.
At Counselling and Therapy New Zealand (CTNZ), our counsellors provide a supportive and non-judgemental space to talk through difficult experiences and work towards positive change.
If you're looking for trauma counselling in New Zealand, therapy for trauma in NZ, or simply feel that you need someone to talk to, we're here to help.
Contact CTNZ today to discuss your needs and find out how counselling could support you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Trauma
What are the signs of trauma?
Signs can include anxiety, feeling constantly on edge, nightmares, intrusive memories, avoidance, emotional numbness, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, irritability and difficulties with relationships. Trauma can affect people differently, and you may experience some symptoms without experiencing others.
Can you have trauma without PTSD?
Yes. Experiencing trauma does not automatically mean you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Trauma is a response to an overwhelming experience, while PTSD is a specific mental health condition involving a particular pattern of symptoms.
You don't need a PTSD diagnosis to seek counselling or support.
Can trauma affect you years later?
Yes. Some people experience difficulties soon after an event, while others notice the effects months or years later. Changes in circumstances, relationships or other stressful experiences can sometimes bring previously unresolved feelings to the surface.
How do I know if I need trauma counselling?
If experiences from your past or present are affecting your emotions, relationships, sleep, sense of safety or ability to manage everyday life, counselling may be helpful. You don't need to have everything figured out before making an appointment.
Is trauma counselling available in New Zealand?
Yes. Counselling and therapy services are available throughout New Zealand, including in-person and online options. If you're searching for "trauma therapy NZ", "trauma counselling near me" or "counselling in New Zealand", you can contact a counselling service to discuss what type of support may be appropriate for you.
Does ACC cover trauma counselling?
ACC may fund or contribute to counselling for certain mental injuries and traumatic experiences, including eligible sensitive claims relating to sexual abuse or assault. Eligibility is assessed according to ACC requirements and individual circumstances.
How do I find a counsellor near me in NZ?
When looking for a counsellor, consider their experience, therapeutic approach, availability and whether you feel comfortable talking with them. You can search for a counsellor near me in NZ or contact CTNZ to discuss your needs and available counselling options.
Do I have to talk about everything that happened?
No. You should be able to work with your counsellor at a pace that feels manageable. You can discuss what you're comfortable sharing and gradually explore more difficult experiences when you feel ready.