Compassion Fatigue: What It Is, Who Is Most at Risk and How Counselling Can Help in New Zealand
Compassion fatigue can affect people who care for others. Learn the signs, who is most at risk, and how counselling in New Zealand can help.
You spend your days caring about other people. You listen to their problems, support them through difficult experiences and try to be there when they need you most.
But lately, you may feel different.
You might feel emotionally drained after conversations that once felt manageable. You may find yourself becoming detached, irritable or unusually numb. Perhaps you still care deeply about the people you support, but you simply don't have the emotional energy you used to.
If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing compassion fatigue.
Compassion fatigue can affect anyone who regularly supports people experiencing distress, trauma, illness or difficult life circumstances. It is particularly recognised among healthcare workers, counsellors, social workers, emergency workers and other caring professionals, but it can also affect family members and informal caregivers.
The good news is that feeling overwhelmed does not mean you are uncaring or that you have failed. Compassion fatigue is often a sign that you have been carrying too much for too long.
What is compassion fatigue?
Compassion fatigue describes the emotional and physical impact that can occur when you are repeatedly exposed to other people's suffering.
It is sometimes described as the "cost of caring."
Research has particularly examined compassion fatigue among healthcare, emergency and community service workers who regularly encounter trauma, grief, illness and distress. A systematic review found that compassion fatigue can occur across different caring professions and that no single profession is immune.
Compassion fatigue is closely related to two experiences:
Secondary traumatic stress: experiencing stress reactions after being exposed to someone else's trauma or suffering.
Burnout: physical and emotional exhaustion associated with ongoing workplace or life stress.
These experiences can overlap, which is why compassion fatigue can sometimes be difficult to recognise.
Importantly, compassion fatigue isn't simply "being tired of your job". It can affect how you feel, think, relate to others and function both at work and at home.
What does compassion fatigue feel like?
Compassion fatigue can look different from person to person. You might notice changes in your emotions, behaviour, relationships or physical wellbeing.
Emotional signs
You may:
Feel emotionally exhausted or overwhelmed
Become unusually irritable or frustrated
Feel helpless, hopeless or powerless
Experience sadness or frequent tearfulness
Feel numb or disconnected from other people's emotions
Find it harder to feel empathy
Feel guilty about wanting time away from others
Feel like you have "nothing left to give"
Sometimes people are particularly distressed by the feeling that they don't care as much as they used to.
If you have always been someone who cares deeply about others, becoming emotionally detached can feel frightening or shameful.
It doesn't necessarily mean you have stopped caring. It may mean your emotional resources are depleted.
Physical signs
Compassion fatigue can also affect your body. You might experience:
Persistent tiredness
Difficulty sleeping
Headaches or muscle tension
Changes in appetite
Feeling physically drained
Difficulty relaxing after work
Increased sensitivity to stress
Changes in behaviour and relationships
You might notice yourself:
Withdrawing from friends, family or colleagues
Avoiding conversations about difficult topics
Becoming more impatient
Finding it difficult to switch off after work
Working longer hours because you feel responsible for everyone
Using alcohol, food or other behaviours to cope
Feeling disconnected from activities you normally enjoy
You may also find that experiences at work start following you home.
A difficult conversation with a client, a traumatic story you've heard or the death of someone you've cared for might stay on your mind long after your shift has ended.
Who is most at risk of compassion fatigue?
Anyone who regularly provides emotional support can potentially experience compassion fatigue.
However, some situations may increase the risk.
Healthcare and helping professionals
People working in roles involving regular exposure to suffering may be particularly vulnerable. This can include:
Nurses and doctors
Counsellors and therapists
Social workers
Psychologists
Paramedics and emergency workers
Teachers and support workers
Disability support workers
Palliative care workers
Community and mental health workers
Animal-care professionals
Other people working in caring professions
Research has identified compassion fatigue across a range of healthcare and helping professions.
Family and informal caregivers
You don't need to work in healthcare to experience compassion fatigue.
Parents caring for a child with complex needs, people supporting an unwell partner, and those caring for an ageing or vulnerable family member can also experience prolonged emotional strain.
When you are supporting someone you love, it can be particularly difficult to acknowledge that you need support yourself.
You may think:
"They need me more than I need help."
But caring for someone else doesn't mean you have to ignore your own wellbeing.
People exposed to repeated trauma
Regular exposure to traumatic stories or situations can also contribute to secondary traumatic stress.
For example, a counsellor hearing repeated accounts of abuse, a social worker supporting families experiencing violence, or a healthcare professional caring for critically unwell patients may repeatedly encounter distressing experiences as part of their work.
This doesn't mean that everyone exposed to trauma will develop compassion fatigue. Research suggests that individual, workplace and social factors can all influence risk.
Compassion fatigue vs burnout: What's the difference?
The terms compassion fatigue and burnout are sometimes used interchangeably, but they aren't exactly the same.
Burnout is generally associated with prolonged stress and demands, particularly in the workplace. You may feel exhausted, frustrated, disconnected from your job or like you can no longer keep up.
Compassion fatigue has a stronger connection with caring for or being exposed to other people's suffering.
For some people, the two occur together.
For example, a nurse working long shifts in a busy hospital may experience burnout from workload and staffing pressures while also experiencing compassion fatigue after repeatedly caring for seriously ill or dying patients.
Understanding the difference can help you identify what kind of support you need.
When should you seek help for compassion fatigue?
You don't have to wait until you reach breaking point before seeking support.
Consider talking with a counsellor if:
You feel emotionally exhausted most of the time
You are struggling to switch off from work or caregiving
You feel increasingly detached from people you care about
Your sleep or appetite has changed
You are becoming more irritable than usual
You dread going to work
You feel guilty about needing time for yourself
Your relationships are being affected
You are relying on alcohol or other behaviours to cope
You feel overwhelmed and don't know how to change things
You are thinking, "I need help with anxiety", stress or emotional exhaustion
Getting support early can make it easier to understand what's happening and identify practical ways forward.
You don't need to have a formal diagnosis to talk to a counsellor about what you're experiencing.
How counselling can help with compassion fatigue
Counselling in New Zealand can provide a confidential space to step outside your usual role as the person who supports everyone else.
Instead of being the caregiver, professional or problem-solver, you get an opportunity to focus on yourself.
A counsellor can help you:
Understand what is happening
Sometimes simply putting words around your experience can be relieving.
Counselling can help you explore whether what you're experiencing is compassion fatigue, burnout, anxiety, grief, stress or a combination of different pressures.
Identify what is draining you
Together, you can explore your workload, relationships, expectations, boundaries and patterns of coping.
This can help identify where changes may be possible.
Develop healthier boundaries
People who care deeply about others can sometimes find it difficult to say no.
Counselling can help you practise setting boundaries without feeling that you are abandoning or disappointing people.
Process difficult experiences
If you have been repeatedly exposed to distressing situations, talking about your experiences in a safe environment may help you process what you have been carrying.
Depending on your needs, a therapist may draw on approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness-based approaches or trauma-informed therapy.
The most appropriate approach will depend on your circumstances and preferences.
Evidence for specific compassion-fatigue interventions is still developing, but research suggests that psychological and behavioural approaches may help, while highlighting the importance of stronger evidence and broader workplace-level solutions.
Importantly, counselling shouldn't be viewed as a replacement for addressing unhealthy workloads, staffing problems or unsafe workplace environments. Sometimes compassion fatigue reflects circumstances that need to change around you, not simply something you need to "cope with" better.
What can you expect from a counselling session?
If you've never had counselling before, making the first appointment can feel daunting.
Your first session will usually involve talking about what's been happening and what you'd like help with.
You don't need to arrive with everything figured out.
You might say:
"I don't really know what's wrong. I'm just exhausted."
That's enough to start a conversation.
Your counsellor may ask about your work or caregiving responsibilities, relationships, stress levels, sleep, emotions and what you've noticed changing.
Together, you'll discuss what you would like to work on and develop an approach that feels appropriate for you.
Counselling is not about being judged or told what to do. It is a collaborative process where you can explore what's happening and develop strategies that work for your circumstances.
A New Zealand perspective: culture, whānau and wellbeing
Mental health support should never be one-size-fits-all.
For Māori, wellbeing can be understood in ways that recognise connections between the individual, whānau, whenua, wairua and wider community. A culturally responsive approach should respect each person's identity, values, tikanga and preferences rather than assuming that one model of therapy will work for everyone.
Health New Zealand provides kaupapa Māori wellbeing services that are whānau-centred and incorporate mātauranga Māori and culturally relevant approaches.
If you are Māori, you may prefer to work with a Māori counsellor or access kaupapa Māori services. You can also discuss with a counsellor what cultural or whānau involvement would feel appropriate for you.
Similarly, people from Pacific and other cultural communities may want counselling that recognises their cultural values, family structures and community connections.
A good counsellor should be willing to understand what wellbeing means to you.
Is compassion fatigue covered by ACC in New Zealand?
It depends on the circumstances.
ACC does not generally cover ordinary stress or emotional difficulties simply because they are affecting you. However, ACC may provide counselling or other mental injury services in specific circumstances, including mental injury associated with a covered physical injury, certain traumatic events at work, or sexual abuse or assault.
If you're wondering whether your circumstances may qualify, it's worth discussing this with your GP, healthcare provider or counsellor and checking directly with ACC.
You can also access counselling privately without an ACC claim.
Finding counselling for compassion fatigue in New Zealand
If you're searching for "compassion fatigue help NZ", "therapy for compassion fatigue NZ" or "counselling in New Zealand", the most important thing is finding a professional you feel comfortable talking to.
You might search for:
"compassion fatigue counsellor near me NZ"
"therapist for burnout NZ"
"counselling for healthcare workers NZ"
"therapy for stress and anxiety NZ"
"find a counsellor near me NZ"
"counselling in [your city]"
You can also speak with your GP about mental health support and possible referrals.
Health New Zealand provides information about different mental wellbeing services throughout Aotearoa, including kaupapa Māori, Pacific, youth and community-based services.
You don't have to wait until you're completely exhausted
Compassion fatigue doesn't mean you're weak, uncaring or unsuitable for a caring role.
Often, it means that you've been giving a lot of yourself without having enough opportunity to recover.
You deserve support too.
If you recognise yourself in this article and feel ready to talk, booking a counselling session can be a first step towards understanding what you're experiencing and finding a healthier way forward.
You don't have to know exactly what's wrong before reaching out.
If you're thinking, "I need help with anxiety," "I can't switch off from work," or simply "I don't feel like myself anymore," that's enough reason to start a conversation.
Contact us today to book a counselling session and take some time to look after yourself.
Compassion Fatigue FAQs
Is compassion fatigue a mental illness?
Compassion fatigue is not, by itself, a formal mental health diagnosis. It is a term used to describe the emotional and psychological effects that can develop from prolonged exposure to other people's suffering and the demands of caring.
However, ongoing distress can contribute to or occur alongside conditions such as anxiety, depression, burnout or trauma-related symptoms. A counsellor or other mental health professional can help you understand what you're experiencing.
What are the first signs of compassion fatigue?
Early signs can include feeling unusually tired, emotionally drained, irritable or detached. You may notice that you have less patience or empathy than usual and find it harder to switch off after work or caregiving.
Can compassion fatigue affect people outside healthcare?
Yes. Although much of the research focuses on healthcare and helping professionals, compassion fatigue can affect anyone who regularly supports people experiencing distress, including family caregivers, teachers, support workers and community workers.
How long does compassion fatigue last?
There is no fixed timeframe. It depends on the circumstances, the level of ongoing stress and the support available. If the pressures contributing to compassion fatigue continue, symptoms may persist or worsen.
Getting support early can help you identify what needs to change.
Is compassion fatigue the same as burnout?
Not exactly. Burnout is generally associated with prolonged stress and demands, particularly at work. Compassion fatigue has a stronger connection to exposure to other people's suffering. They can, however, occur together.
Can counselling help with compassion fatigue?
Counselling can provide a confidential space to explore emotional exhaustion, boundaries, difficult experiences and coping strategies. Depending on your needs, therapy may incorporate approaches such as CBT, ACT, mindfulness-based strategies or trauma-informed therapy.
Should I see a counsellor or a psychologist?
Both counsellors and psychologists can provide mental health support, but their training, professional scopes and approaches differ. The best option depends on what you're experiencing and the type of support you're looking for.
If you're unsure, you can discuss your needs with a GP or contact a mental health professional to ask whether their service is appropriate for you.
Can I get free counselling in New Zealand?
Some publicly funded wellbeing services are available without a referral in New Zealand, depending on your age, location and circumstances. Health New Zealand's Access and Choice programme includes free wellbeing services in many communities, including kaupapa Māori, Pacific and youth services.
ACC may also fund counselling in specific circumstances where the relevant criteria are met.
What if I don't know whether I have compassion fatigue?
You don't need to diagnose yourself before asking for help.
If you feel emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, detached or unable to cope with the demands you're facing, talking to a counsellor can help you understand what may be contributing to how you feel.
When should I get urgent mental health help?
If you are in immediate danger, experiencing a mental health crisis or worried that you may hurt yourself or someone else, seek urgent support rather than waiting for a routine counselling appointment. Health New Zealand advises calling 111, going to your nearest emergency department or contacting your local mental health crisis assessment team.